“We should definitely catch up”
Why vague check-ins don’t build real professional relationships
The longer game
Most professional relationships don’t fail because of one bad interaction.
They fade because there’s no structure holding them in place.
After the conference.
After the follow-up.
After the initial energy fades.
What remains is goodwill and intent: “we should catch up…”
But good intentions are not a system.
The myth of “staying in touch”
People say:
“We should stay in touch.”
So they set reminders to:
check in every few months
comment on posts
send the occasional article
This feels proactive.
But unless it’s tied to something real, it’s just motion.
And it creates two problems:
No shared work (nothing you’re both trying to move forward)
No evolving context (no new information that makes the next conversation better than the last)
Without those, contact becomes performative.
You’re not building a relationship.
You’re preserving visibility.
And yes, I know what you’re saying, visibility matters. But visibility without a reason just becomes noise.
What real professional relationships are built on
Strong professional relationships aren’t built on frequency.
They’re built on:
shared problems
repeated usefulness
good judgement at decision moments
The people you respect professionally are not the ones who “check in.”
They’re the ones who:
think clearly about problems you actually care about
send something concrete when it’s relevant
create progress in moments that matter
give you a boost when you need it (a tough week at work, missing out on a promotion, a setback that knocks your confidence)
There is substance underneath the contact.
The test: is there a live thread between you?
Most professional relationships don’t drift because people aren’t interested.
They drift because there’s no shared reason to keep showing up.
A relationship lasts when there’s a live thread between you:
a problem you’re both working on
an exchange that’s genuinely useful
a decision you can help each other make
Ask yourself:
1) Do we have overlapping priorities?
Examples:
You’re both in healthtech and interested in wearables → you swap recent evidence, vendor names, procurement lessons, and “what actually worked in clinic.”
You’re a founder and they’re in VC → you share notes on founders raising; they share pitch feedback, investor fit, and warm intros (when appropriate).
You’re both clinical leads on digital projects → you compare roll-out plans, adoption blockers, and how you handled safety incidents or escalation.
You’re job-searching and they’ve hired clinicians into product/ops → you can sense-check role scope, decision rights, and what “success” looks like in their org.
A good test: can you name the next useful thing you could send them in under 20 seconds?
If not, you don’t have a live thread yet.
2) Is there a reason for us to interact beyond politeness?
Look for a concrete reason, like:
You’re about to make a decision they’ve already made (vendor choice, pathway design, trial design, hiring, pricing, NHS entry).
They’re one step closer to something you need (the meeting, the data owner, the budget holder, the person who can sign off).
You can reduce their risk (flag a safety concern early, pressure-test a workflow, sanity-check a clinical claim before it goes out).
You can make them faster (introduce a relevant person, share a template, share what you learned the hard way).
If the answer is no, the relationship may drift.
Of course, it could be two “nos”, but you really hit it off and should stay in touch on a personal level.
And you’re allowed to keep it social! Just don’t confuse “I like you” with “we should schedule quarterly catch-ups to talk careers.”
From a business perspective, there’s probably no structural reason for it to persist right now.
Avoid checking in for the sake of it. Meet them for something social instead.
A better model: get close to real decisions
If you want relationships that grow and compound, move closer to decisions.
That might look like:
Collaborating on a project together (e.g. joint content on LinkedIn/Substack where you’re both accountable to ship something, not just “have a chat”)
Holding each other accountable on goals you set together for visibility (I’m a huge believer in this → you know who you are!)
Comparing notes while you’re building in parallel (e.g. you’re both clinicians building in healthtech → “what did you pick, what did you cut, what did you learn?”)
Asking for perspectives on real decisions you’re making: a job move, a new opportunity, a tricky stakeholder problem, a challenge you’re facing in your work
These decisions carry next steps and consequences.
Shared consequences create natural follow-up, and they build trust faster than small talk ever will.
You learn a lot about someone when you see their logic, priorities, and decision-making process under a bit of pressure.
Natural follow-up looks more like this:
→ “So what did you decide between job A and job B?”
→ “How did that feature launch go a few months later? What was the hardest part?”
→ “You said you had a goal of posting more on LinkedIn this year. How’s it going? Can I help?”
What this means practically
Instead of asking:
“How do I stay visible?”
Ask:
Where are we likely to intersect again?
What work are they accountable for this year?
Where could my thinking genuinely reduce friction or risk for them?
Then show up at those moments.
Not randomly.
Not rhythmically.
With intention.
One uncomfortable truth
Some relationships are not meant to continue.
You met.
It was useful.
It was a nice conversation.
But there’s no further value at present.
That’s fine.
Not every interaction needs to become a meaningful relationship.
Be selective.
Trying to artificially sustain every connection dilutes the ones that matter.
Keep things friendly, and you can always pick things up again in future.
What you need to know
Professional relationships strengthen when:
there is live work
there is mutual relevance
there is earned respect
Not when there is calendar maintenance.
If the connection is real, it will resurface around meaningful work.
If it doesn’t, it probably served its moment.
What’s next
In my next post, I’ll write about how to build credibility in rooms where you don’t yet hold formal authority, and what shifts others’ perception of you the most.
Until next week,
Alice
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📸 Cover image: my own from MedTech World Dubai, February 2026
Your Next Move is where I share practical frameworks for building high-performing careers in healthtech, based on what actually works from the inside.
Another interesting and thought provoking article Alice.
Love this one! It’s so true - to cultivate the real relationship there needs to be shared ownership and goals.